Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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