you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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