I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it glows. i had to have it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
