thus making me awesome and them whores
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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