i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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