I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
