grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
