Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
