I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
