i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
