But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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