is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
