I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize