Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
