Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
