would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
