dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
