Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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