That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
