it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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