It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
