i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
