i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize