I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
