Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
