I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
