Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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