I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
