oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
