There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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