He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
