Kiss
Puke
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
