Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
