In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize