Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize