Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Call meee

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...

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(956): View more from Texas

around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...

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(716): View more from New York

i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control

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(734): View more from Michigan

I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.

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(418): View more from Quebec

I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out

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(973): View more from New Jersey

That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy

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(864): View more from South Carolina

He looks like he'd be great Lego character.

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(207): View more from Maine

I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.

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(208): View more from Idaho

There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.

(1-208): View more from Idaho

That's my favorite drunk.

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