Banned from zoo.
Again?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
