so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
