note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
