you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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