plz talk dirty to me
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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