You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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