drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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