I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize