just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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