We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
