My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
