Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
