Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
