dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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