K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's never too late to be topless.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
