Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
