i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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