She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
