Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
