sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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