Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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