My hand turned me down
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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