I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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